Coisas da Rússia

Coisas que só vemos na Rússia

Aprendendo Java no BOPE

Retirado de: http://jf.eti.br/aprendendo-java-com-o-bope/

/**
* O Bope foi criado para atuar quando a policia perde o controle
* E no rio de janeiro isso acontece com bastante frequencia
*/

class Bope{

    private String nome;

    private int qtdeVitimas = 1; // ja começa bem!

        public Bope(String nome){

                this.nome = nome;

        }

        // sobrecarga do método ondeTaOBaiano
        public void ondeTaOBaiano(Estudante e){
e.sabeVoarEstudante();
        }

        public void ondeTaOBaiano(Traficante t){
t.levaSacoNaCabeca();
        }

// exemplo de método final!

public final Doze encontreiOBaiano(Baiano b){
return b.naCaraNaoQueEhPraNaoEstragarVelorio();
}

}

public class Treinamento{
public static void main(String [] xxx){
// Apresento o capitão nascimento

Bope instrutor = new Bope(”01″); //Capitao Nascimento
try{

// de cada 100 policiais que fazem o curso do Bope,
// so se formam 5, e eu, quando me formei parceiro,
// eramos apenas 3.

Turma.tentaFazerCursoBopeCom(capitao);

while(aluno.count >= 3){
aluno.pedePraSair();

if(aluno istanceof Cafetao){
capitao.say(”Pede pra sair!”);
capitao.say(”Seu Lugar Eh Com Puta!”);
}
if(aluno istanceof PorraLoka){
capitao.say(”Tira essa farda preta!”);
capitao.say(”Voce nao eh cavera. voce eh MULEQUE!”);
}
if( aluno.isXerife() ) aluno.desiste();
}

} catch (PolicialCorruptoEncontrado pce){
} catch (PolicialFracoEncontrado pfe){
} catch (PolicialSemABandoleiraNessaAlturadoCampeonato e) {
}

}

}

SEUS FANFARRÕES!

VCS TEM 10 SEGUNDOS PARA COMPLETAR ESSE CÓDIGO!- O zero-dois NÃO está escrevendo!

- SEU zero-dois, porque o senhor não escreveu nenhuma linha?

- A-a minha IDE não terminou de carregar, senhor…

- Agora a sua IDE ja carregou, seu zero-dois?

- S-sim senhor…

- Então, seu zero-dois, termine o seu programa, senão todos os seus colegas terão que usar o EDIT do MS-DOS até o fim do curso E A CULPA EH DO ZERO-DOIS!

HOMEM DE PRETO QUAL É A SUA MISSÃO?

É APRENDER JAVA SEM PRECISAR DE CERTIFICAÇÃO!

HOMEM DE PRETO O QUE É QUE VC FAZ?

FAÇO CODIGO FONTE QUE ASSUSTA O SATANÁS!

Estratégia, do inglês, Strategy…

- Senhor, o zero-cinco está dormindo…

Tirado do blog de Jamildo

Telefone transformer

Na onda do filme transformers, temos um telefone que é um transformer tb nesse video:

Mais quotes

One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs. (Robert Firth)

I have stopped reading Stephen King novels. Now I just read C code instead. (Richard O’Keefe)

C++ has its place in the history of programming languages. Just as Caligula has his place in the history of the Roman Empire. (Robert Firth)

C++ is an atrocity, the bletcherous scab of the computing world, responsible for more buffer overflows, more security breaches, more blue screens of death, more mysterious failures than any other computer language in the history of the planet Earth. (Eric Lee Green)

Historically, languages designed for other people to use have been bad: Cobol, PL/I, Pascal, Ada, C++. The good languages have been those that were designed for their own creators: C, Perl, Smalltalk, Lisp. (Paul Graham)

Arguing that Java is better than C++ is like arguing that grasshoppers taste better than tree bark. (Thant Tessman)

If C++ has taught me one thing, it’s this: Just because the system is consistent doesn’t mean it’s not the work of Satan. (Andrew Plotkin)

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. (Bjarne Stroustrup)

Being really good at C++ is like being really good at using rocks to sharpen sticks. (Thant Tessman)

If you think C++ is not overly complicated, just what is a protected abstract virtual base pure virtual private destructor and when was the last time you needed one? (Tom Cargill)

In My Egotistical Opinion, most people’s C programs should be indented six feet downward and covered with dirt. (Blair P. Houghton)

A system composed of 100,000 lines of C++ is not be sneezed at, but we don’t have that much trouble developing 100,000 lines of COBOL today. The real test of OOP will come when systems of 1 to 10 million lines of code are developed. (Ed Yourdon)

C has all the expressive power of two dixie cups and a string. (Jamie Zawinski)

Within C++, there is a much smaller and cleaner language struggling to get out. (Bjarne Stroustrup)

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind. (Alan Kay)

There are only two things wrong with C++: The initial concept and the implementation. (Bertrand Meyer)

C++ will do for C what Algol-68 did for Algol. (David L Jones)

C is often described, with a mixture of fondness and disdain varying according to the speaker, as “a language that combines all the elegance and power of assembly language with all the readability and maintainability of assembly language.” (MIT Jargon Dictionary)

C++ is the only current language making COBOL look good. (Bertrand Meyer)

PL/I and Ada started out with all the bloat, were very daunting languages, and got bad reputations (deservedly). C++ has shown that if you slowly bloat up a language over a period of years, people don’t seem to mind as much. (James Hague)

Java is, in many ways, C++–. (Michael Feldman)

You can’t prove anything about a program written in C or FORTRAN. It’s really just Peek and Poke with some syntactic sugar. (Bill Joy)

C is quirky, flawed and an enormous success. (Dennis Ritchie)

Eiffel borrows quite heavily from some earlier programming languages and I am sure that if we had found a good programming construct in C we would have used it as well. (Bertrand Meyer)

A C program is like a fast dance on a newly waxed dance floor by people carrying razors. (Waldi Ravens)

All C programs do the same thing: look at a character and do nothing with it. (Peter Weinberger)

Whenever the C++ language designers had two competing ideas as to how they should solve some problem, they said, “OK, we’ll do them both”. So the language is too baroque for my taste. (Donald E Knuth)

The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon. (Jerry Olson)

Other advanced languages, such as assembler and C, were not terribly complex in themselves, but the environments in which applications were developed were downright weird, with mines scattered about everywhere, ready to blow the inattentive programmer out of the water. (Bruce Tognazzini)

Going from programming in Pascal to programming in C, is like learning to write in Morse code. (J P Candusso)

To me C++ seems to be a language that has sacrificed orthogonality and elegance for random expediency. (Meilir Page-Jones)

Any sufficiently complicated C or Fortran program contains an ad hoc informally-specified bug-ridden slow implementation of half of Common Lisp. (Philip Greenspun)

C++ is history repeated as tragedy. Java is history repeated as farce. (Scott McKay)

Unix and C are the ultimate computer viruses. (Richard P Gabriel)

It has been discovered that C++ provides a remarkable facility for concealing the trival details of a program — such as where its bugs are. (David Keppel)

I view the landslide of C use in education as something of a calamity. (Nicklaus Wirth)

C++ is like jamming a helicopter inside a Miata and expecting some sort of improvement. (Drew Olbrich)

Pointers are like jumps, leading wildly from one part of the data structure to another. Their introduction into high-level languages has been a step backwards from which we may never recover. (Tony Hoare)

C++: Simula in wolf’s clothing. (Bjarne Stroustrup)

The belief is still widespread in the commputing community that C and its derivatives are programming languages — languages intended for people to write programs in. This is a regrettable misunderstanding. (Bertrand Meyer)

From a practical viewpoint, it’s easy to see that C will always be with us, taking a place beside Fortran and Cobol as the right tool for certain jobs. (Larry O’Brien)

I consider C++ the most significant technical hazard to the survival of your project and do so without apologies. (Alistair Cockburn)

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration. (Stan Kelly-Bootle)

COBOL was designed so that managers could read code.
BASIC was designed for people who are not programmers.
FORTRAN is for scientists.
ADA comes from a committee – a government committee no less.
PILOT is for teachers.
PASCAL is for students.
LOGO is for children.
APL is for Martians.
FORTH, LISP and PROLOG are specialty languages.
C, however, is for programmers.

Al Stevens